Walking into a room in an unfamiliar and far from home place to meet with a group of people I’ve never met, never thought it’d happen to me. But…
There’s something I want from this world and I know it’s not hiding under the pillows of my couch. I know in my mind hiding behind everything will lead me to continue having nothing. That’s why I am sitting in a cafe waiting to meet up with a group of strangers.
Even more frightening than meeting new people is the fact that I am about to share myself and my writing with those people. I’m so frightened by this event, that last time I chickened out on coming. I know what you’re thinking, “Isn’t she already sharing her writing with strangers by blogging and being online?” And the short answer to that would be yes. But as any introvert can attest to, PDA (Public Displays of Anything) is typically out of the question and not greatly desired or intentionally sought out.
In fact, this experience is so new to me, I’m conflicted in myself about where I stand as an introvert. A part of me knows I must leave the world of solitude in order to make gains, but a leopard trying to change its spots is what I see when I look in the mirror.
Why can’t I feel like me without feeling like that won’t work to get what I want? Yet, I feel like altering the person I’ve been for what is now over 30 years will not take me any further than keeping to myself. My only resolve will be to feel as though I’m missing something by staying away from the world, but shouldn’t have to take in much of the world to make my dreams come true. After all, I’ve always believed in the unstoppable destiny. That means no matter the direction we take our life, what’s meant to be will be, even when we try to keep life to ourselves.