I recently found out February is self-esteem month. By now, it’s no secret that I’m an introvert and proud of it, but I was wondering how that relates to self–esteem. In the past few years I’ve been on a self-awareness and spiritual development journey. It was during these years I truly began to understand who I am, where my character and personality come from and how much of both determined the choices I’ve made for my life.
Recently I decided to try my hand at an online dating site, not cause I NEED help with dating, but because I need help with dating.
Walking into a room in an unfamiliar and far from home place to meet with a group of people I’ve never met, never thought it’d happen to me. But…
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One could look at me and wonder, if you’re truly that introverted, how could you ever be married or have dated for that matter? Well the answer to that is I’m still human and intimate relationships is a part of everyone’s life, whether you have to buy dolls, toys, or go for the real thing (I just chose going, or waiting for the real thing). But here’s something about me most people who know me don’t realize: in the past, if it were left up to me, I would never have experienced intimate relationships with the opposite sex. I wouldn’t have even had friendships for that matter. My thoughts were, if a guy wants me he’ll make a way to come get me and friendships always sort of fell into place. But here’s where the shock of my life came; for reasons I still cannot understand, all the above changed when I saw my husband. For the first time in my life I saw something I wanted and I went after it (which is why he tells everyone I stalked him, so not true). The funny thing is, for the first time in my life I had it bad for something and I prepared to position myself for as long at it took to make a way for him and I meet (That sound like stalking? Maybe). I have no idea why I felt that way, but I did. When I initiated our conversation, I wasn’t scared, not even nervous. For the first time in my socially awkward life, I made a decision to risk social embarrassment and rejection. But enough about my so-called love life, let’s get to the real reason for this post. Why a quiet person like myself initially decided to leave my social future up to chance opposed to acquired knowledge of social skills and proper socialization.